How Conflict Avoidance Fuels Commitment Issues
Many couples need to grow together before they can move forward. I can only control my side of the street, and being a good friend, a good partner right now means showing up in a courageous way. So that’s a different narrative than, ooh, they’re gonna get mad at me, and that means bad things. If you are suspecting that this is the MO of your partner, it is really important to say that out loud.
You feel awkward about the situation and unsure about how to bring it up. Conflict avoidance on both sides could lead your work relationship to grow uncomfortable and how to deal with someone who avoids conflict distant. By contrast, taking the coworker aside to discuss what happened and apologize would likely repair the relationship and set up productive future interactions.
How Long Does Marriage Counseling Take?
If you’re used to sweeping conflict under the rug, interpersonal conflict resolution can feel deeply threatening. You might try to build your skills and confidence by opening up conversations about relatively small matters with those you trust the most. Positive experiences resolving minor issues, such as household chores that aren’t getting done, can equip you to take on bigger concerns. The key is to learn and continually hone your conflict resolution skills. Learning how to overcome conflict avoidance can lead to happier relationships because you’ll have better conflict resolution skills and be able to speak up so that your needs are met.
Relationships in which people „never fight“ are not always as blissful as they seem. When anger is suppressed or unacknowledged by partners or family members, it can actually be unhealthy. Whether it’s an open debate over dinner or an underlying feeling of discomfort that remains unspoken, family conflict can cause a significant amount of stress. It might be that there’s no lack of love between members, but rather, a lack of comfort in dealing with conflict. Conflict is generally intense enough to disrupt some aspect of the relationship, such as communication, which is what differentiates it from simply having a different point of view.
Why Conflict Is Avoided
If it stems from childhood issues, you may be able to do some of your healing work. The avoidance conflict style is perpetuated when you feel that you can read your partner’s mind. You decide in advance that they will react poorly or disagree with you, so you avoid the conflict altogether. If you’re in the midst of an argument and things get too heated, ask your partner if you can take a break and resume the conversation at a later time. When you get into this habit, you will recognize that conflict doesn’t have to be scary because you can take time to cool down if it becomes too much to handle.
